. mostly because she'd been there. The pictures of huge codpieces on Kings, Dukes ... even knights were products of artists staying alive. So too were...massive chests and well turned calves. Noses were shrunk and chins grew.Paintings of wives and children were more the product of imagination than the real thing. Sometimes the beauty of a child was found in the model found on the hillside tending the sheep ... sure ... the tender and the Duke's son had the same father but the son ... he was. From the sacrifice of our soldiers and from my own unity with them unto death, will in any case spring up in the history of Germany, the seed of a radiant renaissance of the National Socialist movement and thus of the realization of a true community of nations.”An excerpt from the last words of Adolph Hitler shortly before his death in an underground bunker in Berlin Apr 1945Those last days of Hitler in the underground bunker below Berlin were like a funeral for the living. Some of the members. I touched her palms and hold it for long time whenever possible. She never mistaken me or stepped away from me.I try to hug her but stopped a little bit to express. She was a mystery to me in all different parts of my life with some clues to fill. As i spoke about lecture of class she was tensed to change topic and talk about personal stuff.I always was day dreaming about her.Her image is placed in my dreams.She was a curious girl.We have a lot of chit chats and fights too. She always apologies. Allof the (to my mind) shocking, embarrassing fantasies that I harboured,fantasies I'd tried to repress but that just never went away...we talkedabout them all, with no judgement, no lecherous comments, just acceptanceand understanding. I understood now, with Richards guidance, that thesedesires were actually not that uncommon, that I shouldnt beat myself upover having them and also that they would never, ever go away. Like manysubmissives, bondage and restraint were highly charged subjects.
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